A couple days ago I found this in my inbox from my friend, Dianne Strong. I was surprised to find that the person who wrote it was Lani – also a friend of mine. It’s a message of accomplishments, failures and life in general. I read it and had to share it. Enjoy!

I Sat There Alone in My Car Staring at Reality

by Angelica Kulani Iseke Okada

Thursday, December 10, 2009 at 2:53 p.m.

I went to the cashier at UOG today to make my final payment and when I asked the cashier what my balance was she said, “$420.42.” I laughed out loud and asked her to repeat the total. Yeah, I heard it right. I handed her my Credit card and paid off UOG. Next, as I was still giggling to myself, I proceeded to Collections office to clear my Time Option Payment Plan (TOPP) and get the final clearance. He took my receipt, logged it in the computer and with the most sincere smile he handed it back and said, “You’re all clear. Congratulations.” Wow. I no longer owe the University money. What a relief. Time to commemorate it; I went to the bookstore to pick up my cap and gown.

I leave the book store, cap and gown in hand, I throw the clear package on top of my graduation pictures and then reality hit. I’m graduating. I balled my eyes out! I sat there alone in my car staring at my reality. I did it. I’m graduating. I did it.

I sat in the silence of my car accompanied only by my disbelief. For once in my life I set a goal for myself and I completed it. It took me a long time but I committed to this and I succeeded. This was the one thing that I can say I actually committed myself to. I can’t even say that about the men in my life. Sorry guys.

As I reminisce about what it took to get to this point I realize how lucky I am. I’m graduating. I’ve been through a few failed relationships, some baby daddy drama, and constant moving, the lack of funds, pregnancy, bed rest and raising children. I cried many tears of exhaustion and pain through the years. I remember some semesters I was a full-time student, full-time mother and I worked at the most three jobs to make ends meet. I did homework rather than sleeping, I missed class to attend school functions, I missed work and school to care for sick kids and I still managed to maintain a decent grade point average. Excuse me while I pat myself on the back.

After all of that, after all the stress, the papers, the study groups, the drinking, the late nights juggling fevers and exams – it’s only 10 days away. I can’t say I did this alone. Thank you to everyone that reminded me papers were due, exams were around the corner and that I had homework. Thank you to those who gave me papers to work with, old exams to study and notes that I failed to take. Thank you to those who fed me and bought me supplies. Thank you to those who helped babysit the boys. Thank you to my employers who put up with my lack of attention, constant absentees and moodiness. Thank you to the professors who stood by me and pushed me to achieve my ‘potential’ no matter how mentally weak they made me!

To all my friends that always supported me, loved me, bought me shots and cheered me on even when I felt like I couldn’t go anymore, THANK YOU!!! To my family, just for being in my life, thank you!

I did it. I didn’t do it for just me. I did this ALL for the loves of my life and the reason I breathe each day – Keoni Kane and Richard Christian. Mommy LOVES YOU with all her heart and soul!! We did this!

Today I cried happy tears. Today I realized I achieved.